Put Social Conflict to Work

When we hear the word ‘conflict’ 
we think of wars and attacks.
We think of loud verbal arguments.
But assault and loud arguments are just extreme types of conflict.
Those are counter-productive at work.
Don’t do them.

But there is a productive type of conflict: 
social conflict.
Social conflict helps groups of humans perform better.

Embrace social conflict:
Ask for advice or help.
Ask for someone’s time.
Give feedback.
Ask a clarifying question.
Say you see it differently, and why.
Assert your point of view.

All of these are social conflict.

Why do groups of humans get better results when they use social conflict?
It leads to richer discussion.
It reveals more information.
It leads to higher-quality decisions and better outcomes.

But most humans avoid social conflict.
It’s uncomfortable to do, and to watch.
It makes us feel anxious.
It makes us worry about our social standing.
It makes us worry that something is wrong.

So we avoid social conflict.
We keep our mouths shut.
We go along when we shouldn’t.
We prioritize conflict avoidance over success.

So how can you put this powerful tool to work for you?

Start easy:
Ask for advice.
Ask a clarifying question.
“Do you mean something that would look like [X]?”
Say “I see it a little differently.”

You’ll like the results.

People will 
be more aware that you exist.
think you’re smart.
take you more seriously.
praise you for engaging.
praise your questions.
see you as a leader
describe you to others as a leader.

Go to it!

From the front porch in Moss Beach,
Tenders